A little bit of something…and everything else

I keep asking myself, why do I spend, spend spend without thought to cause and consequence? When I purchased my first car, I bought it that night. Rule #1, don’t fall in love with the car you’re buying. Rule #2 don’t go alone, take someone who’s not attached to buying a car or whatever the big purchase you’re seeking.

Recently I let myself get screwed out of $6000. Granted, it’s money I never had and never will see. It was for a business deal. The guy was convincing and I was on the fence. I didn’t know if I wanted the product, but it would be so nice to have an online company so I didn’t have to work for my last year of school, and so I could have a steady income while I was out of the country. I’ll post a separate log about that later.

Recently, I went to my mom’s house. She offered to give me her juicer for Yule/Christmas, and I decided I didn’t need it, because it took up a lot of space that I don’t have and required a lot of cleaning, which i didn’t want to do. When I went to her house, I thought about it again and asked her for it. Typical of my mom, she says here you go…oh and that’ll be $75. “I paid $125 for it, and I figure that would be a good price.” I recently did a Craigslist search for the same juicer, and wouldn’t you know it! Three juicers listed for $25, one for $60 and just today, another for $80.

Why is my mom charging me $75 for a juicer that I could get for 1/3 of that price? Because my mom is a tight-assed bitch! She always has been, and always will be. There’s two things that have always been an ongoing issue: Sex and money! My mom had 3 affairs before she finally left my dad who abused her…not including all of the swing parties and menage et tuas! They would kick us out of the basement, away from the only TV in the house for several hours a couple times a week so that they could “entertain” my mom’s friends.

Going back to money, my mom actually charged me interest for money that I borrowed to buy food or pay for rent when I was 18-20. This wasn’t some nice 3% shit!!! it was more like 15% interest, and late fees if I didn’t make my payments by the 15th of the month! Now, yes, it teaches a lot about responsibility, but when the bank is fucking me and my mom is fucking me, there’s not much left over right? So, when I have money, I want to spend it on things I want not bills, or other shit like that.

I understand that to be a responsibile adult, it’s important to pay for bills. I’m sick of paying bills. I’ve been paying for my food (lunches at school), taekwon-do, and anything else that was extra, such as books, games, music and whatever since I was 15.5. My parents didn’t give me an allowance. My dad didn’t pay me to mow the lawn or shovel the walk, so I pissed him off by going to the neighbors and doing theirs while telling my dad to fuck himself. He thought it was a childs obligation to take care of the house. That’s what his dad taught him, and that’s what he wanted to teach us.

Now, my dad is taking care of my grandmother by supplying her with a pint of hard liquor every day. How’s that for portion control. That’s just what he buys her! Who knows if anyone else is supplying her… I know her caretaker was for a while until my sister found out and got her fired! We never talk about the good things and we always worry about the shit that sucks. Well fuck this shit. I want off this boat. I want new parents. I want ones who will pay $7k a month for me to live in a drug rehab!!! Oh wait, I never started drugs! So spent $7k on my education! Fuck, that would all but pay for my school loans! I have about $60k in student loans at this time, with another year left of graduate school! I don’t see how I’m ever going to pay that off!

Fucking addicts!!!