Stood up… on New Year’s Eve
What else can I say? Once again, I had higher expectations, and alas, they were dashed. Granted, it wasn’t really a date. Someone invited me out to drink. I should have kept my expectations low, after all, it did feel odd that she didn’t give me her number, but insisted on contacting me.
I’ve been let down a lot in my lifetime. Hell, who hasn’t. I’m not going to let this ruin me, however. I’m going to keep trucking. Happy New Year to you all.
Be well.
Happy New Year!!!
Why do people put an s in Happy New Year’s? I understand they’re being lazy and not writing “Day”, but it just sounds lame: Happy New Year’s!!! That being said, I hope that everyone has a great 2009. This is the time to reflect on the good (and sometimes not so good) things that happened this past year, while setting an intention for the next year. I have never done resolutions because I don’t believe in them, but setting an intention is more palatable for some reason. With an intention, it’s a desire, and aspiration, a goal. There’s usually a clear timeline and desired outcome, as well as the motivation to complete something. With intentions, we often set check points and if we’ve reached that goal, we can move on the to the next phase. If we haven’t reached that goal yet, we have to ask what we need to modify in order to accomplish our primary goal.
I will post something in the next day or two about my year. Until then, be safe and have a great night.
Friz out!
Holiday Request
Recently I was reading an article in the National Geographic (“Our Vanishing Night,” by V. Klinkenborg in the Nov. 2008 Issue, also online: http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2008/11/light-pollution/klinkenborg-text). The article opened my eyes to a phenomenon that I’ve been noticing more and more, the stars are disappearing.
What I failed to realize, as many others have also, is the effect that this has on the rest of our beloved planet. The author talks about how our diurnal behavior requires us to illuminate the night, therefore defeating it’s temporary grasp. Through ever-burning street lamps, and neon lights, the night sky has become something dramatically different than it was even 10 years ago, let alone 10,000 years.
The author notes how the unresearched effects of light pollution has possibly altered the migration of birds, the hunting behaviors of animals, as well as the migration patterns of non-predators such as deer and such. This dynamic may also effect hybernation behaviors, and could potentially be a contributing factor in global warming (the author doesn’t make that claim, but what if it does?).
How many “privileges” do we accept as routine daily things, without wondering the impact it may have on the rest of the world?
The article introduced me to light-safe (I forget the term mentioned in the article) or light-friendly communities that actually require all lights to be turned out or dimmed after a certain time. Many cities require that all street lights and outdoor houselights be downward facing.
Did you realize that there are several hundred stars that are supposed to be a part of Orion? I was excited to see tons of stars while on retreat in the mountains, but it’s been years since I’ve even been able to see a handful of stars around Orion.
Last week there were two planets that were near conjunction, how many stars were visible in that cluster? I didn’t see any, partly due to the brightness of the moon, but also because I live in a fairy big city.
My holiday request is along these lines. Many of us enjoy the city lights during the holiday season. Neighbors and city buildings often decorate houses, trees, buildings and landscapes with ornate holiday ornaments and lighting. Let’s do the world a favor and on December 26, turn off all of our decorations after sunset. If we can, only light necessary lights in the house. Try to light a fire and enjoy the comfort of the warmth and community in the house. Turn off computers, neon lights and unnecessary “frill” lights, such as bathroom night lights. Turn off motion sensors outside and enjoy the fresh evening full of stars.
Take a step outside and count the stars in the constellations. When was the last time you really looked up at the sky? Saw Orion, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, or any of the other planets and stars? We are not alone in this world or this galaxy. There are hundreds of thousands of plants, animals and insects that roam this planet, many of which need a healthy rest from the intense light of the sun. These nocturnal creatures, which dominate our beloved planet, don’t function well in the brightness of our vast cities and metropoli.
Enjoy the holidays, and give something back to the planet. Even if it’s one day out of the year.
N’Aman
Confidence
What happened to my confidence? There were times when I felt damned certain that I knew what to do. I knew what was going on, and I could take care of the situation. Now I’m at a stage in my life where I really don’t know what’s coming. I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what to expect and I damned sure don’t know if I can get where I want to go.
I asked one of my friends to do a practice session for me. She replied, that would be fine, but I have to warn you that I’ve taken some crisis intervention classes, so I know what to expect. I don’t know if it will work on me.
What?
Granted, she was shocked that therapists go to therapy all the time. This is someone who feels that because she took A class, a short two day seminar that she now has all of the answers. Is that confidence or ignorance? Or is it a little of both?
Some of the feedback that my professors gave me this past year had to do with my “confidence.” “He was speaking from a genuine place of curiosity, as opposed to trying to “teach” or sound smarter than his classmates.
I feel amazing at times because I feel like I can’t put two coherent thoughts together. And other times I feel like I’m right on top of things. How is it that I can read Jung and completely understand what he’s talking about, yet, I can’t even formulate decent paragraphs at this moment in time? I feel so tangential.
I could easily say that I have some attention disorder, some form of psychological issue. Something that medication would surely cure. Do I want that? Do I need that? My brother was diagnosed with Adult ADHD a couple years ago. I think he was 31, a year older than I am now. My family’s riddled with psychological disease and other issues: addiction, co-dependency, bipolar, borderline, abuse, trauma, whatever.
Whatever. I know that I’m lonely. And yet, here I am, home, alone, not calling anyone, but about to watch a movie. Hey, at least I have breakfast on Tuesday morning with a friend. Maybe I should go out tomorrow night? Fuck it, why the hell not?
